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| Nosy Neighbors by Brian Sawyer |
What in the world! As it turns out, I am not perfect. I have committed a faux pas or two with people I know and have met in the USA. I really don't want to generalize too much, but it is true that there are certain things Latinos do that might be taken the wrong way by Americans. Sadly, after 20 some years I just figured some out.
First, I call it caring but it is pretty much considered nosiness for most Americans. When I meet someone, I want to know as much as I can about the person. I do so because it is a friendly way to get to know the person without getting into politics or religion. Also, if I like the person, I keep a mental library of what they like. It comes in handy for gift giving or any other emergency.
Here is an example of what I am talking about. The first time I met the fiancee of one of my colleague, I asked her everything about her wedding plans. I wanted to find out how much her dress cost, what shoes she was going to wear, all about her hairdo, and don't forget the flowers.
She later told me she did not appreciate my questions and that was the reason as to why we never got along. Cultural difference? You think? Yes, had I known that she thought I was being nosey, I would probably had said nothing. So, now that I realize people may think I am nosey how can I chit chat with people I barely know? What is wrong with being involved with the people I like?
She later told me she did not appreciate my questions and that was the reason as to why we never got along. Cultural difference? You think? Yes, had I known that she thought I was being nosey, I would probably had said nothing. So, now that I realize people may think I am nosey how can I chit chat with people I barely know? What is wrong with being involved with the people I like?
Second, unsolicited advice. I stopped giving advice to my American friends since I was told, by many, that I am too opinionated. Yikes! I never meant to offend anyone. Speaking of unsolicited advice, my sisters are masters in this area.
My sister told my sweet girlfriend that she needed to lose weight if she was to find a boyfriend. I can enumerate the many times that my sisters, friends and extended family in Mexico have given unsolicited advice about my personal appearance and life decisions. I always tell my American friends, "When I go to Mexico, I leave the USA confident and I come back with low self-esteem." Yes, we are warm but harsh sometimes.
My sister told my sweet girlfriend that she needed to lose weight if she was to find a boyfriend. I can enumerate the many times that my sisters, friends and extended family in Mexico have given unsolicited advice about my personal appearance and life decisions. I always tell my American friends, "When I go to Mexico, I leave the USA confident and I come back with low self-esteem." Yes, we are warm but harsh sometimes.
So, I get it. I am considered nosey and opinionated, but I am ok with that. On the other hand, I think Americans are extremely polite. I love it when I hear my friends say, "don’t take it personally, but." and "don't take it as an offense, but". Oh and my favorite, "I am not complaining, I am just venting" Can anyone explain the difference between those two? Somehow venting and complaining sound the same to me.
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